About Me: Born a Capricorn (but of course), I was raised on organic alfalfa in a fine Western European free-range pasture. I joined the Embodied Design Research Laboratory around 2008. Little did I know that I would be culturally appropriated as the lab’s mascot. All these years later, I still have mixed feelings about being thus objectified (you can tell by my face — that is a mixed-feeling’s goat face). Still, the appointment came with the benefits of offering emotional support as well as, if I may, intellectual inspiration, to the lab’s newbies at their dwellings. Oh the things I’ve seen, oh the words I’ve heard, oh the dissertations I’ve plagiarized! Now being a tenured mammal, I look forward to many years of doing nothing. I have learned from the best.
My Research: I study the prevalent phenomenon of illusory phonemic conjunctions as embodied acoustic phenomenology of discursive cognitive activity. Each time lab members publish a paper, they cry out “Go team!” But I, pundit on all things goat, realize that, in so doing, they are sublimating their atavistic caprine impulses — they tacitly mean “Goat team!” I have attempted repeatedly to publish on the matter, but reviewers were contesting the phylogenetic Jungian nuances and Freudian erotic symbolism of horns as these pertain to all matters of gender, colonialism, and broccoli. No kidding! Some day, though, my bleat will be heard, and my herd will be leaders of the organic alfalfa field. Oh capricious I.